


Blind Drunk Confessions

by AngyValentine



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M, Poor drunk Cullen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-02
Updated: 2019-02-02
Packaged: 2019-10-20 18:12:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17627162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngyValentine/pseuds/AngyValentine
Summary: Once Bull convinced him to try the… what was the name? Maraas-Lok? It burned his throat like liquid fire. And not a single mug – Bull wanted to see how many mugs he’d have been able to drink. After the fourth he was half-passed – and for Andraste’s tits, the morning after he wished so much to be dead. The headache almost killed him, deadly combined with the pain from lyrium withdrawal. Never again, he swore.Never again.But it happened. And the poor Commander - the normally so reserved Commander - told his friends way more than what he'd expect about his love life with the Inquisitor.





	Blind Drunk Confessions

“So, how did it go?”  
Dorian took a quick sip of his ale, hiding a smile behind the mug and trying not to sound too interested.  
“Go what?” Cullen, sitting across from him, put his mug on the table and looked at the mage.  
“Oh, come on.” Bull, sitting beside him, slammed his palm on the wood, making jump every plate or mug placed on it “Don’t try to act as you don’t get what we’re talking about, Cullen.”  
“I actually don’t get what you’re referring to, Bull, seriously.”  
That “ _it_ ” could have indeed be referred to too many things – the Inquisition’s influence and its expansion, the relationship between the Inquisition itself and Orlais or Ferelden, his own withdrawal from lyrium (even if he was quite sure both of them didn’t know about it)… and so on. Many _things_ , yes.  
“Tch, tch.” Dorian shacked slowly his head, clearly disappointed “Nothing of what you’re thinking about, Commander. As the person who’s helped in making your lovely relationship with our adorable Inquisibabe blooming like a flower in spring, I’m – you know – quite concerned about it. Not that I doubt of you, of course. I just want to be sure everything is fine between you and her.”  
Cullen blushed slightly, not really willing to talk about that. He was a quite reserved person – even if he was sure almost everyone in Skyhold already knew about them. Well, he was the one who kissed her (more than once, actually) on the battlements, not caring at all about the soldiers guarding on the walls. And they took the habit – while she was there in Skyhold, of course – to take a stroll on those same battlements every morning, sometimes hand in hand too, enjoying the fresh air of the morning before starting with their overwhelming routines. She took every chance to get and see him in the office, offering to bring him some reports and kissing him, lips or cheeks, before going back to the main hall.  
They even started to sleep together – and he still remembered his shock when he found out that she loved sleeping in an over-sized shirt. He didn’t know why, but he thought she’d sleep in something more… fancy. Not that he was a great expert in women’s nightwear but… neither he could judge her: he was somehow relieved by the simplicity of her taste in clothing. Nothing too fancy nor frilly: that shirt was fine for bed, it kept her warm and perfectly (almost) covered, its… “duty” as pyjamas was perfectly done. And oh - she never tried to seduce him in frilly lingerie. Considering his poor experience with women, he was somehow grateful. He could bet he’d have turned into a babbling blushing mess. Luckily, Shirael wasn’t really that type.  
But aside from that, they both didn’t like to make a great display of their love in front of others. Even if – Cullen couldn’t deny it – he’d had liked to spend more time with her. When she was far from Skyhold, it could take her weeks to come back to him.  
“Everything is fine, indeed.” he said, pretending to drink some more ale from an empty mug, just to hide his face in front of the others.  
“And…?” Bull sounded anxious, as if from his reply he’d win a chance to go to kill another dragon, and filled again Cullen’s mug with ale.  
“And what?”  
“Oh, come on! Is “ _everything is fine_ ” all you have to say?”  
“It is. What were you expecting?” Cullen scrolled his shoulders, drinking.  
“Some details, maybe.”  
Dorian groaned, his hand covering his eyes and, again, he shook his head.  
“You’ve the tact of a drunk druffalo, Bull. Did you really hope to hear spicy details of their relationship from him? Seriously?”  
Cullen blushed again, feeling quite insulted. It wasn’t really his fault if he was pretty shy about it. Not that he was ashamed, oh no – he was really treasuring their love, and he was trying his best to enjoy it – and make Shirael enjoy it too – as much as they could. Their relationship was way too precious for him, for make dirty gossip about it.  
“Well, of course I don’t want to know how long he can endure in bed, his favourite positions or Boss’ favourite part of his body to lick, but “ _everything is fine_ ” is quite a poor reply when you’re talking to your friends. In my opinion.”  
“But maybe he doesn’t want to talk about it _so deeply_ in details, you know.”  
“Ehi, I’m not a silly blabbermouth!” Bull crossed his arms on his chest, puffing said chest out “But knowing the Commander, and how mindful I suppose he can be with Boss, I just thought we could help with useful advices in the matter.”  
“Matter? Like their pure and romantic relationship? I never thought you’d be such a romanticist, Bull.”  
“Okay, okay, I can be helpful in _specific_ matters. Who said I can’t?”  
That said, and Bull filled again their mugs, barking a cheer before emptying it with two single sips. Seeing Cullen’s hesitation, he slapped him on the shoulder and invited him to join them in drinking – yet the Commander was quite unsure about that. He had drunk enough, he didn’t truly want to fall asleep on the table, blind drunk. It wouldn’t have been either the first time – once Bull convinced him to try the… what was the name? Maraas-Lok? It burned his throat like liquid fire. And not a single mug – Bull wanted to see how many mugs he’d have been able to drink. After the fourth he was half-passed – and for Andraste’s tits, the morning after he wished so much to be dead. The headache almost killed him, deadly combined with the pain from lyrium withdrawal. Never again, he swore.  
 _Never again_.  
  
“And soooo…” Cullen mumbled, holding a fist against the cheek and poorly trying not to fall face-down on the table “I asked her if she wanted to stay with me even after… uh, after all this mess, you know, maybe she… she’d have wished to go back to her Clan and… leaving me here. I don’t even know if Dalish can accept relationships between humans and elves…”  
While Bull was listening with excited attention, Dorian glared the Qunari with obvious scolding. Somehow he’d got to make Cullen drink so much that the poor guy was a total mess – face blushed like a tomato, the eyelids half-closed and his hair all messed up, since he kept run his fingers through it, while explaining them how exactly went their supposed “first” night together.  
“Okay, but then?”  
“Then…” Cullen stopped for a moment and, suddenly, let his head fall on the table, temple first. He groaned in pain and slowly put his arm between his head and the wood, almost searching relief in the coolness of his steely vambrace. He stood silent for a while, almost searching for the proper words to describe his memory “Then I… made her lay on my desk, crawling over her…”  
Bull whistled in appreciation for his boldness, smirking – getting a kick on the shin by Dorian, his disapproval even clearer.  
“I… started kissing her, and touching her, and Maker save me, she was so soft here and there…”  
“I can’t disagree. I’ve already told her she’s nice boobs. Ehi, don’t look at me like that!” Bull raised quickly his hands in defence, noticing the deadly glare Cullen was sending him “I was joking, I swear. Well actually we were both drunk when I told her so, you know, after the defeat of the first dragon. Right here in the tavern. I swear I never touched her.”  
“I’d cut your hands if you’d ever try.” Cullen hissed, his threat quite ruined by the drooling on his chin.  
Dorian rolled his eyes, sadly resigned to the fact that neither of the two men who were sitting with him seemed willing to listen to him. Indeed, Bull tried to get even more informations from the poor Commander, blind drunk and half-passed on the table.  
“You’re trying to say you two had sex on your desk, with unlocked doors? I swear I never thought you’d be so bold, Cullen.” Bull barked a laugh, slapping the blond man on the back – and making him slam his face on the table again.  
Cullen hissed a curse, his sight too blurred to see anything quite clearly in front of him, and wiped the drool from his chin with the back of his hand. For Maker’s sake, he just wanted to throw up.  
“I… never said anything about that. I’d… never allow anyone to… to see her naked. Nope, absolutely nope. That sight is mine and mine only!” he muttered, slamming the fist on the table – and getting a shocked look from Dorian, plus a barely muffled chuckle from Bull.  
The mage desperately tried to ignore the fact that half of the customers in the tavern were looking in their direction – the drunk Commander was indeed a rare show.  
“We won’t ever dare to steal her from you, Cullen. You can be sure ‘bout that.” Bull reassured him, trying not to start laughing again.  
“You can bet.” Cullen grunted, making a disgusted face “But there’s one person who… who always tries to stop our love! The Void should take him now, if he dares to interrupt us again while we kiss on the battlements, I swear I’ll throw him off of the walls! Him and those stupid fucking reports! I’ll make him eat them and then he’ll fly off. I swear!”  
At that point, Bull couldn’t hold his laughs anymore. Cullen, blind drunk as he was, was the very best for that boring night.  
“Cullen, my friend, you’re way too nervous now.” Dorian gently patted him on the shoulder, moving the mug from the Commander’s hand and replacing it with a glass of water “Wouldn’t you prefer to take a stroll, now? Breath some fresh air?”  
“Ugh. You may be right.” the blond man groaned, emptying the glass and trying to stand up on his wobbling legs.  
“He is indeed.” Bull said, grinning at him “Or you may scare the Boss in these conditions. She’s so worrisome, you know her. Who knows if you’d…”  
“MAKER’S HAIRY BALLS I’M A GENTLEMAN, YOU KNOW!” Cullen barked toward his two friends, slamming some coins in front of Cabot, who stopped just for a moment to wipe the mug in his hands.  
“No one ever doubted about that, Commander.” he quietly commented, going back to his work.  
Meanwhile, Cullen was already outside, the tavern’s door slammed behind his back.

* * *

  
  
Shirael was quietly reading in her bed, curled up under the blankets with a book Varric gave her a couple of days before.  
  
“ _A Templar no Longer”._  
The fact that the couple on the cover was absurdly similar to her and Cullen wasn’t absolutely a coincidence, _of course_ – quite like the two protagonists of the novel itself. It was a very romantic story, and she got to love Varric’s style of writing – fluent and poetic, even in long descriptions. He even got to create a perfect way to bound them together from their backgrounds! A small globe of light floated in the air above her head, granting her the perfect light to read comfortably, and the crackling of the fire in the fireplace was pretty relaxing.  
“INQUISITOR!”  
Someone busted in her room, making her jump. She heard the door slamming against the stone wall and heavy steps ascending the stairs.  
Cullen.  
She quickly hid the book, placing it between the mattress and the headboard, and covering it with her pillow – just in time to see Cullen peeking out from said stairs.  
“C-Cullen, what’s wrong?” she asked, lifting the blankets to place her legs out of the bed.  
Cullen didn’t move at all from his place, looking at her with an unreadable expression on his face. His cheeks were absurdly red, his whole face quite sweaty, his hair a total mess.  
“Is… is it all right, Vhenan…?” She stood from the bed, her bare feet so silent on the stone floor, until she was in front of him. And yet Cullen didn’t say anything, keeping on looking at her in silence.  
Suddenly he lifted her in his arms, squeezing her in a tight hug that left her breathless – her face buried in the fur of his coat, her tiptoes could barely touch the ground. For a moment, she couldn’t say if that was actually a hug or an attempt to kill her, honestly.  
“C-Cullen, please…”  
“They don’t know anything.” he groaned, keeping her lifted and walking toward her big bed, where he gently let her fall “Nothing at all!”  
At least she could breathe now – well, almost. His very own alcohol breathe hit her like a punch on the face, making her  wrinkle her nose. Shirael looked at the man in front of her – Cullen was towering over her petite frame, looking at her like a hungry predator.  
 _Creators have mercy…_  
“Look.” he said again, lifting a hand toward her “Look at your face! How can they even think I’d make you do some… blasphemous things just because we’re in love?!”  
She slowly moved backwards on the mattress, keeping a shocked eye contact with Cullen, who placed a knee and both of his hands on the bed, crawling toward her.  
“Why are you running away, love? Are you scared of me?” he asked, a heartbroken expression on his beautiful features “Like the first days when you joined the Inquisition?”  
“N-no, of course no, Cullen. It’s just… you don’t look quite yourself, now.” she placed a hand on his stubby cheek, caressing it slowly “… and you stink of alcohol. Did Bull make you drink so much?”  
“We were just chatting!” he groaned, making a disgusted face – yet brushing slowly his cheek on her hand “The bastard made me drink so much and yet I didn’t notice at all how much I was drinking…”  
Shirael rolled her eyes, mentally seeing the whole scene. She hoped people wouldn’t have thought less of him just for the probably ridiculous show…  
“I can prepare you something to drink for the hangover, if you want…”  
“Later.” he shut her pulling her body toward him, holding her hips.  
He gently raised his hands to frame her face, his eyes watery and not focused at all – and yet with a hint of adoration and pure love, even in his poor conditions.  
“How could they ever think of you in those blasphemous ways. You’re way too pure to even be pictured doing dirty things!” he said, brushing his thumbs on her cheeks “Look at yourself. So tiny, so innocent. You always let me guide you in our nights together – and I’m so honoured of this thing! And I- I’ve to take care of you! I really have, ‘cause you’re way too precious for me! Too precious, so wasted with the broken man I am…”  
Shirael didn’t noticed he had made her lay on her pillows, not until he shifted to lie more comfortably with her in his arms.  
“And yet, you know what? I’ve sinned! Yes, ‘cause when you’re away from Skyhold, I miss you damn much, your love, your body, your touch, everything of you, I miss it too much- and yes! I admit it, damn Qunari teased me about our love life, and I fantasized of having you under my desk, your face buried between my legs while I have to concentrate and not let people know what you’re doing under the table! Or on my desk itself, making you moan and scream my name in ecstasy, crying for the pleasure I’d give you, and begging me to go harder, faster on you, not caring if someone could see us. But no, I know it’s wrong, and I always ask forgiveness for those dirty fantasies, you don’t deserve anything of it! I love you so much, Shirael, I can’t help myself…” he gently lifted again her face toward him, his eyes even wetter than before – Creators, was he almost crying?  
“You’re the best thing that ever happened in my whole life, my precious treasure, I’d want to keep you near me every second, to be sure you’re safe, and that no one’d ever mean any harm to you – even if yes, I know you’re absolutely able to protect yourself – but please humour me, I’ve never loved anyone as much as I love you…”  
Cullen let go a broken sigh, barely noticing how silent she has been since then. He held her tighter, almost scared of letting her go – was she disgusted? Scared? Or maybe she was thinking of him like a perverted?  
“Have I ruined everything? Now that you know what I had in mind while you were away? Please love, forgive me – please tell me I haven’t ruined what we had built together until now…”  
Shirael slowly raised her right hand, brushing it on his back in slow circles – trying to find the best words before speaking again.  
“You… you haven’t. Cullen, you haven’t ruined anything.” she murmured against his neck, kissing his stubby skin “You know I’m not really… experienced in… this kind of things. But I want you to know that, whenever you feel like, we can… talk about it. A-about what you’d want to try. I don’t want you to… get frustrated because you feel like you’re not free to talk to me about certain things. Please?”  
He didn’t say anything more, just held her closer, even putting his left leg on her hip, trying to pull her even more against his body. I was like being hugged by a giant warm bear. Shirael just sighed with a smile, keeping on rubbing his back and leaving soft kisses on his neck and chin. He was silent, finally…  
“Cullen…?”  
A snore as a reply.  
He had fallen asleep, still in full armour, keeping her in his arms.  
It could have been a very nice way to sleep together… too bad that Cullen was drooling too. On her hair.  
Shirael tried to hide her head under his chin but, for Creators’ sake, she couldn’t breathe with the fur of his cloak so near her face!  
His hold on her was like steel. Quite impossible to leave.  
She’d had have the whole night to think how to make him pay for that.

 ~~Not to mention, he had interrupted her reading just before the smutty first time between the two main characters in the novel…~~  
 

**Author's Note:**

> Old same story - this is actually a oneshot I wrote for a prompt on [Tumblr ](http://angyvalentine.tumblr.com/) two years ago. Thanks for the patience you had for reading this silly os <3


End file.
